Cold hands, warm shart.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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