I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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