Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
