why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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