Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
