Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
