'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
