That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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