im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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