You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
