i always forget guys have bellybuttons
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
