Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It's Friday. Sex?
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
being pregnant is like rehab
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
