He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
