Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
