oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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