she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
