this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
