i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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