Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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