Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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