I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
youre lurking in front of me
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
