what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
