if i can run in heels then i can drive
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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