Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
