Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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