I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
