Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
