I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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