At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
