You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
