she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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