Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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