Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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