you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
