And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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