my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
