I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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