he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
