i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
