Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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