We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
