she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
