I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
