is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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