It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
