ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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