btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
