Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
