You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
