just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
