i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
